Best Bedtime Story. Ever.

"Once upon a time there was a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny pet. He was reading a tiny book. The end."

Story by Olivia, writing under her pen name Stinkerbell

Olivia's Words of Wisdom

"Spongebob is not a sponge. He's cheese. He's very yummy."

8:34 pm
I figured she was asleep - she'd been quiet for a good 10 minutes. But she had a thought, a revelation if you will, and felt the need to share it.

So. Now you know. Spongebob? Just a hunk of cheese masquerading as a sponge.

Snow, Snow, Do you like the snow?

I want to know. Do you like it in your face? Do you like it every place?

Between the click of the light, and the start of the dream...

Is apparently about 10 seconds. Okay, so not so much from the click of the light, but from the time you stop moving / talking / whining / scratching / singing / thrashing / dancing your fingers up and down your headboard.

How nice to be able to lay down and simply go to sleep. There's no in between for a 2 year old. You are either sleeping or awake. There's no thinking about what you didn't accomplish today. No stressing about whether he/she took your comment the wrong way. No wondering how you're going to get everything done at work tomorrow.

But it might take some time to wind down from all that finger dancing...

What do you get when you cross...

I now know what happens when you fill 4 dixie cups with water and leave them on the counter for an undisclosed period of time. Apparently dixie cups are made from a paper product that biodegrades as a very high rate. It honestly took me about five minutes to discern what exactly I was looking at. And these days at my house you don't just pick up whatever that unknown substance on the counter is. You need rubber gloves or tongs.

I've also recently learned that when you add water to black sugar sprinkles they turn a greenish-purple color. And that greenish-purple color easily spreads across fingers and noses and cheeks. Again, something you might have to study for a few minutes before deciding what it once was and where exactly it came from.

No, no...YOU gourd head.

I took my pumpkins to the pumpkin patch today. It was a bit chillier than I planned, but it just made it feel that much more like Fall. Olivia truly was Stinkerbell today - she was just plain grumpy. She was mad that the pumpkins were hard to hold - the top is prickly and the bottom was muddy. She got mad when the pumpkin vines tripped her and her jeans got muddy. She cried when Meredith got to go potty in the portapotty and she didn't (after all, they are really alluring). She didn't want to get hay on her jacket. I think the day turned around when she picked a couple of green gourds from the cardboard box in the checkout area. We could have done that at the grocery store...

Damn Disney

So I was just informed by my 5 year old that she only has 11 more years until she's 16 and she can get married. Now I was taken back by this statement for two reasons. First, the obvious, that she can do math. They're still teaching her to write her numbers in preschool. But second, that in her Disney-infected brain, you only have to be 16 to get married. When I questioned her about it she made sure to point out that it was on Princess Aurora's 16th birthday that she pricked her finger on the spinning wheel, and thus, shortly after got married to the handsome prince. Granted, the movie was released in 1959, so maybe things were a bit different waaay back then. But still, the Little Mermaid was just a decade or so ago, and little Ariel can't be a day over 16. And what do you know, she falls in love and decides to leave her father and sisters for a boy. A boy she hasn't even had a conversation with (due to the whole sea-witch-stealing-her-voice thing). I'm all for a fantasy or fairy tale, but in a little girl's head, these princesses are the coolest. After all, they live in castles (or better yet, under the sea), they wear cool dresses and shoes, have friends that are inanimate objects, and get to sing all day. What a life. Wait...that sounds suspiciously like the lives of Stinkerbell and Cindersmella...

So...here we are...

Yet another addition to the blogosphere. Not just another blog...but a blog about a mom and her kids/family. How tragically original.

But hopefully I can provide just a little entertainment and humor as it relates to the lives of a two year old and a five year old. Affectionately known as Stinkerbell and Cindersmella, respectively.

For me, these two provide countless hours of laughter, unlimited tears, frustrations, and amazing moments of sheer wonder.

For example: I watched, amazed, tonight as Olivia downed her glass of milk after dinner. She rarely drinks milk and I was surprised she was working so hard to finish it. Until, that is, I heard her say "I can't get it." Get what, I wondered. Turns out she was after the chunk of chocolate cake floating in her glass. Tasty.