1. You have a singing voice like a lark. And when you sing, people will know what you’re singing and sing along with you. And when there are no humans around? Animals make great duet partners.
2. Speaking of animals…If you’re ever in a pinch, just wait it out. The animal kingdom will pitch in. And they’re crafty little buggers. They can sew, sing, dance and generally save your ass. And if they don’t, see Number 3.
3. Your fairy godmother(s) will always be ready help.
4. Your mom will die. Probably before you’re old enough to understand. But it will happen. And your father will try to discipline and take care of you, but he’s just no good at it. And you don’t really have to obey him. Because…
5. Your father is a short, round, clumsy idiot.
6. Stepmothers are always evil. And tall. And typically dressed in dark colors. And for the most part, they only married your father so they could abuse his power.
7. But, never fear, good will always prevail over evil. Period.
8. Apples? Not always good for you.
9. The ultimate goal of any princess is to get married. To a Prince. And it is okay to get married when you turn 16. I mean, why wait? You’ve known him for days now.
10. Honestly, all you need is love. Or at least, true love’s kiss.
1 comment:
That is so true. I love this, I cracked up
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